What If I Don't Want To Win #WriteMyNameMommaKai

Welcome and welcome back. It's another amazing day in paradise. Thank you so much for being here. Can I tell on myself right now? I changed the name of this post. 

The original name was, "What If I Don't Win". I was like, "This is the post no one wants to write, right? What happens if I don't win?"

When I spoke to this divine human named Lisa a couple of weeks ago, she asked me that question, "What happens if you don't win?". I answered it then and now I am grateful I get to share the answer because I don't want to win. I'm going to go to vote and #WriteMyNameMommaKai" because I actually am the best candidate. 

But I have wondered lately if I got the message wrong in the first place. I've asked myself multiple times in the last few days especially, "was I really supposed to run for mayor?". It has come up A LOT because of my timing. 

What I realized was, "yes, I needed to make this attempt!" Why? Because I needed to learn the lessons that came from trying. Before I get there, let me tell you what influenced the way I have done things.

1. Our Circumstances: The time I work best is between like 2a and 7a in the morning, before Wisdom wakes up. It is hard to record videos while living in a car. I invested the time to record most of the videos during that time when we had an opportunity to stay in a hotel but then it took time, days (sometimes weeks) later, to upload them. Looking back, it didn't have to be that way. But I have priorities and being totally transparent, this election really wasn't one of them once we got back in the car.

2. This book I read with Wisdom which talks about a student election and how it is so beautifully handled even in the midst of conflict.

3. I wanted to make sure I understood the needs of the overall community. I know what me and Wisdom's needs are but we aren't the only people who live in Raleigh. And with the demographics constantly shifting, then it's important to have an idea of what's going to be needed.

That last part took a while (and I know I'm not done). To me it was the most important thing to do. Then when I participated in two candidates' forums, I realized that most politicians rely on people's ignorance of government processes to win. True public servants don't do that! They actually educate people.

I have appreciated people like Megan Patton, Christina Jones and Mary Black who have held community meetings to inform the public on a variety of issues, face feedback/harsh criticisms and answer questions. I have learned so much from these ladies. Christina and Mary have put their mental health on the line for this campaign and I applaud them for all they've endured so they could represent the voices of the people.

After all the things I saw and experienced first hand, I realized I don't want to win. I need to be in the streets. 

Which is the perfect introduction to the biggest lesson this process has taught me: I have more power as a private citizen than as an elected official. In fact, what I'm trying to accomplish, I can accomplish without being a part of the government. And I can get it done faster. 

By the time the next election has come, I will have risen to the call of being Raleigh's matriarch, which was the whole point of me running in the first place. The reason I am so confident of that is because I did my homework by connecting with people organically so my network has grown exponentially just by being curious. I will go back to those people to let them know what I'm doing and see if they want to partner.

What I appreciate most is that I am still leading as a mom, a matriarch and a mayor with compassion and neuroscience. Being a mayor is a mindset. It is not just a title. I wanted to be the mayor because I wanted to be in charge to show what compassion looks like in leadership. My reality is... I already do!

From here, at first, it seems like it is an uphill climb but really it's not. I am confident that after this election, regardless of the results, change is coming. The kind of change people are looking for because I'm building a new system. It's the system people have been waiting for. 

I appreciate looking at my experience like it's a puzzle and I have lots of the pieces. I anticipate the rest coming when I least expect them to and/or when they are needed.

Ya'll have no idea how excited I am. The direction I'm headed in is truly divine and exciting. In time, all those who said no will flock with their yes. Not because I ask the questions again, but because people will come when they see the thing they've been longing for is real. 

I need to end by dedicating this journey to my dynamic, charming, Loving, brilliant and emancipated young Black male superhero. I am who I am because I'm watching him grow and be 100% completely himself. If he doesn't like it, he won't do it. If he doesn't want it, he won't take it. He is simply astonishing. And I am growing to be that kind of person because of him, 100% me.

I wanted to be mayor. I really did. I AM the most qualified IF it was about knowing the needs of the people. But it's not. So the most important thing I can do now is use what I have learned to create a better system in order to build the city, county, state, nation and world we all want and deserve. One that is founded on compassion and neuroscience, where we are always moving to peace from war. 

If you'd like to know more about my mayoral campaign, which I am realizing was the foundation of my campaign to become the matriarch of Raleigh, you can check out the Table of Contents for this blog. The campaign I'm about to launch, I'm sure to win. 

Thank you again and in advance if you choose to join me. Continued success. Enjoy the amazing day you're creating. Peace...